Sunday, March 2, 2014


I normally don't like to include festival movies I may have seen before their US release date because it annoys me when other people do it. They haven't really come out yet! They are future movies, and they don't belong on your "year of the past" list! So my general standard is that if it hasn't been "released" during the year in question, I don't include it. For example, my #1 movie of 2013 (Spring Breakers) is listed on IMDb as 2012, but it is definitely my #1 movie of 2013. And We Are the Best! (#2 here) will likely be the Best Film of 2014, but I happened to see it at a festival in November, so when I make my Best Of list for next year, I'm gonna feel like an asshole when I can't include it because I saw it early like an asshole. But IMDb lists it as 2013, so I guess I have to consider it 2013.

Because on the flip side, in a few years, it doesn't matter. I'll go back to this list and be like "What's all this 2012 shit doing on here?" Which is a dilemma I have definitely encountered before. Basically, it's a confusing, frustrating issue with no real solution, and there is pretty much nothing worse in the world when it comes to yearly list-making. Get it together, cinema.

This year, for simplicity's sake (sorta), I'm giving in and including the festival stuff. Which means, for consistency's sake, I should exclude movies with a listed date of 2012. With the noted exception of Spring Breakers, which is unquestionably my favorite film of the year (and has moved into my Top 10 of All Time), and cannot go unlisted here, at least for now. There were some other great "2012" films that came out this year, however, that I will work into last year's list instead.

Favorite "2011" movies from 2013
You're Next

Favorite "2012" movies from 2013
1. Maniac
2. The Act of Killing
3. Baby Blues
4. Sightseers

Best Actor
1. James Franco in Spring Breakers
2. Jonah Hill in The Wolf of Wall Street
3. Leonardo DiCaprio in The Wolf of Wall Street
4. Rob Lowe in Behind the Candelabra
5. David Koechner in Cheap Thrills
Honorable Mentions: Marilyn Manson in Wrong Cops, Matthew McConaughey in The Wolf of Wall Street, Jared Leto in Dallas Buyers Club, The Rock in Pain & Gain

Best Actress
1. Uma Thurman in Nymphomaniac: Vol. I
2. Mira Barkhammar in We Are the Best!
3. Mira Grosin in We Are the Best!
4. Greta Gerwig in Frances Ha
5. Emma Watson in The Bling Ring
Honorable Mentions: Kathryn Hahn in Afternoon Delight, Sally Hawkins in Blue Jasmine

Best Scenes
1. Alien plays Britney Spears' "Everytime" on piano in Spring Breakers
2. Brit and Candy intimidate Alien with a gun in Spring Breakers
3. The quaaludes scene in The Wolf of Wall Street
4. "I'm So Excited" song in I'm So Excited!

Best Special Effects
1. A Talking Cat!?!
2. Evil Dead

Best Hansel & Gretel Movies from 2013
1. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
2. Hansel & Gretel
3. Hansel & Gretel Get Baked
4. Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft

Best Cameos
Jennifer Tilly and Alex Vincent in Curse of Chucky

Best Comedy Special
1. Kristen Schaal: Live at the Fillmore
2. Pete Holmes: Nice Try, the Devil
3. Kumail Nanjiani: Beta Male
4. Louis C.K.: Oh My God


1. Spring Breakers (Harmony Korine)
2. We Are the Best! (Lukas Moodysson)
3. Moebius (Kim Ki-duk)
4. The Wolf of Wall Street (Martin Scorsese)
5. Gravity (Alfonso CuarĂ³n)
6. Curse of Chucky (Don Mancini)
7. Jodorowsky's Dune (Frank Pavich)
8. The Punk Singer (Sini Anderson)
9. A Talking Cat!?! (David DeCoteau)
10. Evil Dead (Fede Alvarez)

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