Friday, March 16, 2012

Movie Review: The Peanut Butter Solution

The Peanut Butter Solution (1985, Michael Rubbo) - 10.0
An 11-year-old boy lives with his father and matriarchal sister (she’s like 13, but insanely adult), and one day a nearby house burns down, so he goes to check it out, fearing some homeless people he knows may have died inside. Whatever he sees in there scares him so badly he wakes up the next morning without any hair. But fortunately, the ghosts of the homeless people show up to give him a magical hair-growing recipe. He mixes in too much peanut butter, though, which causes the hair to grow rapidly, needing constant maintenance, and getting him kicked out of school due to how distracting it is. His best friend, by the way, has also used the Solution, on his crotch, and now has pubic hair growing out of the bottom of his pant-legs (he’s 11). Naturally, the main boy is kidnapped by his creepy, imagination-hating art teacher, who keeps him in a yogurt-induced coma, as his sweatshop of stolen children make paintbrushes out of his hair.

This movie is not on DVD and still fairly obscure, and I’ve heard various reports from people who saw it as a kid who weren’t sure if it was a real movie or a terrifying/enthralling dream that they had. That is seriously what all children’s films should strive for. It’s probably the weirdest movie I’ve ever seen, and literally dropped my jaw on several occasions just from sheer what-the-fuckness. Seek it out. It’s incredible.

3/5/11: 35mm

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